Three billionaires launch three space shuttles in an|
eccentric space-race to the moon backside, and back.
TITLE: The Great Space Race (of the 21st century)
WORKING TITLE: The Great Space Race
ALT TITLE: onmousewayoff
IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD SPACEBALLS ARMAGEDDON in THE GREAT RACE.
BILLED AS: The Moon Is On Line 2
ALT.-BILLING: Manic Moon Daze
Bill Flops [Hot Property Adult Male] is the tall funning computer mogul-nerd
Marcia Toots [Hot Property Adult Female] is his tall bespectacled secretary
Ross Payrol [Famous Property Master Male] is the executive little-squirt tycoon
Dacy (dear) [Established Property Teen Female] is his teenager [grand] daughter
Sheik Al Faceti [Famous Property Terry-Thomas-type] is the stern neo-Arabian oil-smirker
Hammed [Choice Property Child Male] is his cute little boy
Samir Rayhan [Classic Choice Property Adult Male hunk-type] is the Sheik's Personal Secretary-Aide
4-5 Female News Reporters [Choice Property Adult Female giggly-types] are his stowaways
Cony Turtis [Famous Patriarch Tony-Curtis-type] is the race-promoting mayor of Vandenberg
Lec Jammon [Famous Patriarch Jack-Lemmon-type] is the race-promoting mayor of Canaveral
Con O'Ceanery [Famous Patriarch Sean-Connery-type] is the race-promoting mayor of Baikonur
10 (little) Sheiks of Al-Hamzah Dell [munchkin-types]
4-6 Technocrats, Mayor, 9 Mayors
news desk female reporters, crew
4 Police Officers+Chief [handsome-spaghetti-western-caricature-types]
news desk female reporters, crew
USA Vandenberg space launch facility:
USA Canaveral space launch facility:
RUS Baikonur space launch facility:
Houston launch coordination team
2 Official Commerce Officials
When Sheik Al Faceti's little boy Hammed downs his country's security system, the Sheik blames computer mogul Bill Flops, challenging him in a Space Shuttle-to-moon race. The news media picks-up on Alfaseti and his Personal Secretary-Aide (a romantic hunk). The President cajoles Flops' spending-buddy Ross Payrol to watch after America's honor. The Shuttles are cargoed with extra propellant for a 2-day $100-million-per-entrant subsidized round-trip: Flops renovates California's Vandenberg AFB Shuttle launch facility; Alfaseti schemes to recover costs and accommodate Russia's Baikonur Byran launch site, selling seats to more sheiks; Payrol prepares to launch from Florida's Cape Canaveral; NASA-gurus plot Earth-moon race loops with mission-recoupments. A polite cutaway to the Sheik and Aide sandskiing.
D-minus-1: Morning Before Launch: All except the Aide meet in the Reagan Airport DC lounge.
D-0: Launch Shuttles Day, Aide stows-away female news-reporters. Mayors of the 3 towns impromptu as Race-promoters barking across continents and oceans, wrangling on every modern communications convenience-device: Valencia orange juice vs Naval vs "Orangerine" (orange+tangerine).
T-0: A Perfect Simultaneous Launch, Flops after breakfast, Payrol at noon, Alfaseti after matinee dinner-theater - Payrol and Dacy do weightless late lunch in space.
G-0: Gathering in orbit nose-and-nose passing Prima-Shave signs. Alfaseti's
window-washer snows Flops just before the Go, but his shuttle sputters to
orbital-stop: Aide EVA's cape-over-suit, hammers, restarts - then bronco-busters
dangling weightless against the rear. Flops settles-in busying himself with
MegloSoft routine. Dacy snacks, plays, naps, watches....
Hours later, Aide returns drenched, tube-showers below deck, where heavenly voices discover the female stowaways, who then cook, waitress, belly dance, for the Sheiks' disco-space-party; while Flops finishes his new video-game, dines with Marcia, and has an extraordinary space-mare dream; And Payrol puts Dacy to bed.
D-plus-1: Approaching The Moon, Alfaseti passes Payrol taking pictures of Earth, but lagging lengths behind Flops because of the extra weight, orders a closer back-side pass with boosters over the Engineer's objection to excess deceleration at Earth: They skim the moon back-side, stir-up a moon-dust storm gradually passing Flops, but graze a moon-geyser and spin-out. Payrol is last, blowing his intercom-horn ... exeunting radio-silence.
D-plus-2: Nearing Earth: Flops clips a TV satellite, rolling GovNews
on Earth TV receiver-sets across China.
They pass through the Van Allen Belts during a frizzling solar ion storm....
Russia and USA launch anti-anti-ballistic-missile-missile-missiles - as there was no A-ABM-M treaty: Payrol promises his Presidential Election cheap-vote, Flops e-morphs.
All reenter Earth's atmosphere, Sheik late-but-faster spinning psychedelic neon-plasma colors surviving melted-bent by Russian design-diligence.
The famous NASA SR-71 leads them in a snaking speed-burn-off onto Florida.
Last-thought-of checkered-banner-flag jeeps race up the Kennedy Parkway to arrive ahead of the Shuttles descending behind them neck-and-neck: Flops and Alfaseti jostle landing on Runway 33, Alfaseti skiing its adjacent waterway, Payrol on the Parkway chasing Highway Patrol cruisers chasing the jeeps scattering motorists.
Police blockade the parkway beyond the runway-end access-road, a bit of
Banner-Jeeps, Highway Patrol, Payrol, fast-turn onto the connecting road.
Ambulances join from the north, followed by graduating law-students, Police, and public:
The banner-jeeps swerve oppositely around a seniorly female photographer, cross-wrapping her and her tripod:
All converging on said 'maypole', opposing to perfect stop, as race officials, media, sightseers arrive....
Crowds, roses, hugs, photos, measurements:-- Payrol is declared Nearest Winner, for not overly cheating.
The melody-chiming ice cream truck arrives followed by a lost-in-space-green motorist looking for Key West in the west:
THE SHEIK SCHEMED: to buy a $100M-after-subsidy shuttle ride for $200M outright by selling $200M oil to Star City for their cached gold-certificate rubles, then flood-spending $100M on race decor world-wide, dropping the suspicious market 10%, low-bid bargaining $1800M oil to 9 Russian towns for $1710M in rubles normally worth $1900M, effectually taxing $100M as his subsidy, recovering the market, publicizing his contract for a Russian space-shuttle ride, sending rubles up 10%, paying for his ride including $100M laundered gold-certificate rubles: Thus $2000M oil ultimately raking $2300M buys a $300M shuttle ride and luxuries: keeping the $2000M.